Babe in the Woods

                                    “Peace begins on the changing table.” Ute Strub

I have always loved that quote by Ute Strub  Waldorf educator and child development expert.
As a natural parent the main thing I want for my baby is peace. But peace is not something you can teach a child, it is a feeling that it must get from it’s caretakers and from it’s environment. Every thing we do with a newborn can make or break that sense of peace and calmness.

In Waldorf-thinking, children come from the spirit world, where they have been cared for peacefully for by loving, gentle hands. They are tiny gifts from heaven and it is our job to continue that loving environment for them.

With this in mind, shouldn’t everything we do with our new baby be given the utmost thought? It can be very difficult in this fast paced, technology world to slow ourselves down and focus on one single task, giving it our 100% undivided attention, but our child is worth that attention.

Babies have four basic bodily senses; life, touch, movement and balance. We need to be aware of the senses as we prepare to care and nurture our baby. During feeding, bathing, and changing times speak calmly and quietly to your baby, using slow and considerate movement. Be aware of what you are doing and saying and give your baby the complete attention he needs to feel safe and secure.

So how do we begin this “changing table peace”? Establishing a rhythm to what you do each day creates security and peace for a baby. So lets begin with a bathing ritual.

Contrary to popular belief, babies don’t need daily bathing. They just don’t get that dirty and water and soap can be drying and irritating to baby’s skin. I start my bath ritual after the umbilical cord has fallen off and healed about every other day. Before that it is sponge baths on my lap, and Indian baby massage

For me personally I always end my day with a nice relaxing bath, so this is the time I feel is best for my babies. I think it is a wonderful relaxing way to end the day. It also helps to signal the brain to begin winding down and preparing for sleep. I can remember Zippy, who has severe ADHD, at 2 years floating in the warm tub totally relaxing, letting the cares of the world drain away. She actually couldn’t sleep without her night time bath. (my mother, Mimi and I are the same way!)

So, I have my bath ritual in the evening about an hour before the baby’s bedtime. It is important to begin preparing carefully for the experience before even touching the baby. Prepare yourself inwardly to give the baby your undivided attention. In an unhurried, loving and peaceful mindset, gather the things that you will need and preparing the bathing water,
Here is my ritual;
• First you need to select a bathing area. I like the kitchen sink personally, but in Thailand we do not have hot water in the kitchen, but we are fortunate to have a bathtub, so for Pickles it will be the tub. Where ever you choose, the room should be warm and draft-free and the lights should be low. Candles are nice if you like. I enjoy lavender candles in the bathroom, as it helps relax you.

• Turn off the phone so that you will not be tempted to leave baby unattended "just for a moment."

• Prepare “bath kit”. You will need:

•  Two wash cloths
• A mild soap( In Thailand I suggest Sabu Sabu Natural Body Care)
• Cotton balls
• A hooded towel
•  Massage Oil ( I use virgin coconut oil)
• Diapers
• Clean clothes/ PJ’s

I like to keep these in a small basket beside the tub, all together and ready to go.
How I would LOVE to live in America so I could try these!

Wild Roots on Etsy!

 

When the bath is ready it is time to gather the baby. Announce yourself as you enter the room. Before you touch the baby speak in a tender, soft voice. As you gently lift the baby, tell her what you are doing, what is going to happen and what is going on around them.
I am not a baby tub fan. For myself I want to be in the tub with the baby. So for us, I believe what will work best is for mommy (or daddy) to be in the tub and for Daddy to gather the baby and gently pass her off to mommy.


Babies are often uncomfortable at the beginning of these rituals. They want their warm, secure feeling back. So, they often cry the first couple times. (The Grown-Ups never cried they all LOVED baths) If we handle them peacefully from the beginning they will begin to recognize the safety and joy and learn to rust us more and more. Soon, those cries should turn to happy gurgles.

After the bath, wrap the baby in a soft warm blanket and snuggle them close. (This will be our pass back to daddy) I like the idea of putting them in the sling for a few minutes to help them return to their safe “cocoon world” . Remember to continue talking to the baby quietly telling them what you are doing.

At the changing station, lovingly and thoughtfully apply oil to the baby’s skin, in a slow, gentle massage. I read somewhere an article comparing rubbing your baby with oil to the anointing with oil in the Biblical times. (still practiced in India and other parts of the world) This was a sacred ritual to show the love and gratitude of the practitioner to the recipient. (used all my big words in that one!)

Swaddle the baby or put them in their sleeping clothes and then take a few minutes to play quietly or sing to her. This will probably be our pass back to mommy time, so that baby can be nursed and lulled off to sleep.

 

Here is our Changing Station. No, it's not very Montessori (It should be on the floor) but, we have this beautiful cribs that friends brought from America that I wanted to use. And if you didn't know, I have MS so I don't trust myself standing up from the ground with the baby. I think this is a great solution. The crib isn't just sitting there empty and I don't have to worry about dropping Pickles on her little head!

 

These baskets hold the cute little cloth diapers I have made (20 small, 20 med , plus 4 NB and 3 larger ones) and the diaper liners. We have a bit of a problem with little tiny mice  (and bunnies)right now, I just keep making them!  The big pink pig is definitely NOT Montessori. That's Stick Pig, and he is the hero of the children s books I have been writing... so he gets to stay!

One final Thought....
Dr. Henning Kohler, A Steiner professional,teaches his patients that infants have a need for nourishing and warming acts of bodily care. He says : ”These acts must be done with a true inner participation.”
If we dedicate ourselves to these acts with an unhurried, patient foresight and a personal inner quiet, we are helping our baby become at home with their body and to fell trust and joy in the world and with the people around her.

And that’s all I got to say about that! =)

Jungle Baby

I have decided to write a small serious of baby raising info mostly for my husband. This is the first time he will really ever be around a baby, and as smart as he is, he don’t know nothing ‘bout birthin’ no babies.

My husband is a brainiac. My students (middle schoolers now ) nicknamed him “Google”. They figure, if you can’t find out about something call Mr. Chevy and he will know the answer. He is a plethora of useless knowledge, well not all useless, but he has stored in his brain millions of little tid-bits of information.

I love my husband and his big ol’ brain but it can be quit annoying at times. Try playing Scrabble with a man who has memorized the dictionary!( Last time I threw the board in to the ocean so I would never have to play again!) So, anyway, as much as he knows he has never been around babies, so he really has no clue. I figure he spends ¾ of his day glued to the computer, so maybe the best way to help him understand my ideas on baby raising, I should put it out there on the world -wide internets. Maybe this was he can connect with it easier =)

So I am going to be writing a series of “articles’ of what I believe is the best for baby. I am not an expert, although I have been a teacher for 25 years, so I think that counts for something. But, while I am not an expert, my ideas do come from theologies that have been researched and proven, mainly the teachings of Maria Montessori and Rudolf Steiner and from my experiences working with children and raising my own. Again, these are MY ideas, (most shared by many). Not everyone will agree with them. If you don’t your CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM is welcome, but this is a loving, peaceful blog, so no hatefulness please.

Namaste

Not so Wordless Wednesday

Some days you just gotta speak out and this is one of those days. Our goal is to raise this new baby naturally and as holistically as possible. I know that this is Thailand and the standards and values are not the same, but some things really just piss me off! (sorry)

This morning while waiting at Chiang Mai Ram to see the baby Dr. the nurse came and told us we had to wait because the doctor was upstairs with a patient. Me, being nosy, decided to go see what was going on. If you are not from Thailand, let me explain that you can basically just walk in anywhere in the hospital. So, I go up to the Labor and Delivery floor. I noticed a man standing in front of the the nursery window so I went to go check it out. Behind the class, in this florescent lit, noisy room, was a plastic bed with a tiny baby girl, wearing nothing but a diaper and those baby boxing gloves. I began talking to the man and found out that this precious life was his new baby daughter. She was 1 hour old and he was waiting to hold her for the first time.WHAT!!!!!!!! I have to say I did a very good job keeping clam for this poor man's benefit, but I was outraged!

I continued talking with the man and found out that he had NOT been allowed in the delivery room and had not seen his wife for hours. and neither he, nor his wife had held the baby yet because the nurses said he couldn't. You got to be kidding me! I have heard horror stories about Ram, but we have tried to keep positive while looking for another hospital. This was it though. there was this tiny little spirit laying in a plastic tub basically in a room so bright it would give you a migraine, no blanket, no swaddling,nothing! Seeing her tiny feet and boxing gloved hands flailing around, I could only think of Alice in Wonderland, falling down the rabbit hole. This poor baby looked as if she was desperately trying to grasp something to stop the word from spinning.
A nurse came out and New Daddy asked if he could hold the baby. Her reply was no we are busy right now. Busy??? My husband would have flipped out!


With tears in my eyes, I made my way back to Google and Baby Mama and relayed the story to them. My husband right away wanted to walk out of the hospital, but we went through with the appointment.An hour later,as we were leaving the hospital, we went back up to see the baby one last time . Poor New Daddy was still standing in the window waiting to hold poor little Alice.

There is NO WAY IN HELL that our baby is going to be born in that hospital! I may be a crunchy granola foreigner, but please can't people see that there is something wrong here?????

Dragon Invasion!

Dragon Invasion!

In America I always know it’s spring by the lovely little lambs and calfs frolicking in the pastures. Here in Thailand it’s the birth of the lovely little LIZARDS! Living in the jungle you come to expect all kinds of creepy crawly things. I love creepy crawly… at a distance.

This week we have had a bit of an invasion by these lovely little dragons. It seems that my fairy garden is being dominated by this guy:

Meet Firedrake. In Thai he is called “king kah hua daeng” which means red-head lizard (creative huh?) He actually has a blue or green headsometimes.

He is the guardian of our newly formed fairy garden, in our beautiful new front yard. I suppose we should have asked his permission before renting out his hollow tree stump to the Fairies, because he’s a bit angry with me right now. As I sit out on the patio writing everyday he gets closer and closer and I thought we were going to be fast friends, but his mood has changed and he has started making this weird croaking noise at me. Yesterday we discovered why, when his wife Saphira and little son, Zhou Long (Little Dragon) appeared with him.. Now they all spend the day giving me their little beady dragon stares as if to say “Get your dumb magic tree and picnic set off our front lawn!”

Sorry guys I know what it’s like to have your home invaded for sure, because not only are the Firedrake family on the front lawn, and about 40 little ginkgos (geckos) in the house, but this horrible beast has moved INTO THE HOUSE!

I know your thinking “cute little Gecko.’ Cute Gecko my ass! Let me explain that this thing is called a Tokay (which I think is Thai for “big-ass lizard) and is about 20 inches nose to tail, and it hisses, and it poops the size of a cat! And if having that ugly thing lookin at you ain’t enough, it’s got 3 babies!

Every morning now I’m cleaning big cat size poops off my floor, and this morning it was on my YOGA MAT! That’s the last straw of course. Giecko Gecko and her family gotta go. I called some friends and they are going to come lasso her tomorrow (which should lead to some pretty good photos!) And yes, Thai’s do eat these things, but for the most part they believe that they posses spirits of people and are good luck. So it’s kinda bad juju if you eat one! So no, my friends are not going to eat them! Hopefully.

Spring just isn’t the same in the Jungle!

Jungle Fever

This morning I realized that I have a bad case of 'jungle fever". No, I'm not in love with a black man, although if Denzel came a knockin......
You see, back home in the states, you all suffer from Spring Fever, here in Thailand, we get "Jungle Fever" You know, that feeling of "OMG, I gotta get outta here or I'm gonna go crazy!"?

Anyway, for the past week or so I have been in a real funk. (Apologies to my poor hubby, IT) I have felt like a ticking time bomb ready to go off at any moment. And no one is safe from my wrath. I suppose this could be come from many places deep in my spirit, or maybe just below the surface, but where ever it's coming from, it sucks. Right now so many things are going on that my mind seems to be soaking it all in like a big sponge, a big sloppy soggy sponge, and seriously, if I don't wring it out soon, I just might flood the neighborhood!

As I gaze over my web friends lovely blogs, one after the other I see these beautiful photos of thawing snow, growing tulips, happy little birds and happy little clouds. so what's the problem you ask? I'll tell you what the problem is! It's hot! Dang hot! I'm sticky I'm sweaty, I'm too darn lazy to go out to the garden and I am really questioning whether giving up chemical deodorant was such a good idea. For the past month it has been gradually getting hotter and hotter. Here we are in March and it is in the 90's. You heard me the 90's!

I miss seasons. I miss Spring with is flowers and birds and baby lambs and chicks. You see hear in Thailand we have two seasons. Wet and Dry. From April to October it rains EVERY day. and then from November to March it's dry as a bone. But through the entire 12 months, it's hot! we range from 70-100 degrees the entire year. As much as I love the beautiful jungles of Thailand, I miss the Spring and Fall most of all. I'm Sick of the tropics! I have jungle fever!
So to cheer myself up, I have decided to share some photos of our beautiful jungle home with my friends.(If I can figure out how to ) And them I think I'll pursue though your photos of the winter storms just to remember that I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be.

Change is a Coming!

March 1, 2011    Chiang Mai, Thailand

Last week my BABY turned 18. I am now the mother or four fully grown human beings, with lives, and jobs, and college educations.  I could deal with the fact and except that I am heading toward "Grandma Ville" if it wasn't for the fact, that in a mere five weeks time, I am going to be the mother of a brand new baby girl.

Now don't get me wrong, I am OVER JOYED at being a mommy again, but holly crap, I'm going to be a mommy again!!!  For the past 7 years IT and I have been trying to adopt, first in China and now here in Thailand.  It has beena terrible journey fraught with tears and heart aches, one after the other.  We had finally given up and were planning our future (excepting the grandparent thing) when suddenly this new opportunity was laid upon us. We are so please and thankful that God has chosen us to be the parents of this precious life, but have I said ..holy crap, I'm going to be a mommy again???? I'm almost 43, going through "the change" and just became the director of not one, but two schools!

Funny, one week before finding out about the baby, I read the quote;

 Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe .

On a post-it sticky heart I wrote this quote, along with “change is coming”.  I promptly stuck these on my mirror and have been staring at them for the past 5 months. Boy! I had no idea! Change is coming. Big change. Once again I have been given the opportunity to mold a new life.

So many things I have learned since The Boy’s birth 23 years ago. Montessori, Waldorf, attachment parenting, spirituality ,homeschooling, whole foods, sustainability, gratitude…….. Can I really fit all these wonderful things into my world? Am I really going to be able to be a stay at home mom without missing my classroom?  Am I going to be able to keep up with a 2 year old? Will I survive ANOTHER teenage girl????

Sitting here in my little jungle, I can just exhale, make a wish and just remember the words of my oh-so-wise Baby Beans, “Just don’t screw this kid up Mom!”

Don't Wake the Baby!!!

Three months! I have been a new mommy for three months, and I haven't had a spare moment in THREE MONTHS!  Our bouncing baby girl came into this world unexpectedly April 6th. We had Taken Baby Momma to the hospital for her monthly check up thinking we had three more weeks to go. To our surprise she was in labor and dilated to 5cm. The girl never said a word. It completely baffles me. I have birth three babies and believe me I KNEW when I was in labor. three hours later we had our beautiful little girl Rosalin Olivia.

How had I forgotten how tiring babies are?? Maybe it's just because I'm no spring chicken any more. How did I ever take care of three little ones at one time, when this 8 pound ball on chubby single-handedly runs me into the ground every day?????  Oye vay!!!!

So for the past 9 weeks Pickles has been sleeping through the night from 8pm-6am. Yeah right? Well, it would be a yeah if she slept at least a little during the day.  Our little princess never sleeps longer than 20 mins during the day, and to top is off, if someone isn't holding her... she screams.  We are talking BLOODY MURDER SCREAM!  It is so hard to understand how such a smiley happy little thing can turn into Linda Blair in the matter of seconds.  Honestly it began to scare me.  Is there something wrong with my poor baby?  I even began to question Baby Momma's actions. What if she had been using drugs or drinking and we never knew????  I couldn't even imagine!  after 6 weeks of having to be held 15 hours a day, I am seriously thinking that Attachment Parenting folks are a bit crazy!  I mean, I love my baby, but my arms hurt, my back aches and I am going slowly insaine.

So.... I broke down.  First, I got cable TV installed. Now I can actually sit and watch something while holding Pickles and not feel like I am going to lose my mind.   And, as much as I hate to admit it, I hired a live in nanny/housekeeper. So now, I don't have to feel so quilty that my house is a mess and I haven't got ANT THING accomplished all day.  In my defence, my husband has been away in Africa for the past month and I was all alone trying to deal with screaming Mimi.

Now, at three months she is finally starting to give me a bit more time. Yesterday I actually finished painting my living room after three weeks! Pickles is finally calming down as we try to settle into a rhythm here in our jungle home and all the monkeys are happy...for now